•(2025/03/26) The spring is here! (a little bit late (-_-;)), i was searching in some drawers and i found a old camera the "Fujifilm A350" i dont know much about cameras but i like the render of it, i spent the last days just taking pictures of everything. I also made and posted the artwork n028 in pixiv hope you liked it. DAYS WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!!
•(2025/03/11) It did not got better, im feeling dull, i have that bad omen feeling coming back with some stress, i dont know why, i started to have spams in my eyelids. and the cherry on the cake im starting to have romantic heartache, like im not a big romance person but lately i had a lot of feelings building up (maybe hormones) and the romantic songs are not helping it. Plus the person that i liked for now 5 months got my hints and was happy to know that it was my type, it started talking through messages because we live far away, but even though i felt that there was interest the person wasnt very talkative and it torture me to have to start conversations and keep them alive. So i took the hard decision to stop texting and i think the person thinked that i was no more interested and stopped interacting with me. i just want to burry myself 10ft undear earth like a cicada and never come out again. Good news is i repaired my desktop chair =3
•(2025/02/27) It has been a long time i didnt updated here nor posted something, i was in a low lately. Hope it will get better.
•(2025/02/17) Today it was very cold in my room , i tried to do some drawings and finish coding the game "walking" but it was so cold , my hand didnt move the way as i wanted them to move , my fingers were hurting as i write this down . but i stil did a pixel art of USHI ONI in pixiv go check it out.
•(2025/02/14) First and foremost HAPPY VALENTINE DAY (a little bit late) , today it was valentine day, the sun came out and the clouds hidden themselves from the sky , but the cold was still there , i went out with some friends to eat out in a restaurant , it feel so good to go outside once in a while, it really changes from my room. i guess thats all what happened , and like each day at midnight i will start working on some art and make the pixiv dialy theme. by the way the way i writte this journal is that i take notes on my phone through the day and when everyone go to sleep i turn on my computer and start posting.
•(2025/02/13) Today i really stopped to think about the purpose of all this , i spent so much time learning website coding to build all this so i can start to share my art , feelings etc... , but now that i have built the website i feel like i lost a big part of my purpose , i spend entire hours going all over the website looking if it need a new page. But im grateful that i finsished it so i can focus more on my creations. its 8:30pm, i always start having creative ideas only when the sun is down , i will start by making some music , then when it will be midnight i will do the pixiv theme of the day. and if im too lazy to go sleep i will continue making props for the game "walking", PS: it is 2:00AM i finally finished the main props of the game , posted for the pixiv daily theme the Nerium Oleander (go check it out!!) and i finished the music Blue Windows available on ytb.
•(2025/02/12) I wake up early today because i finally went to class , the weather was terrible , it was cloudy and very cold id loved to stay at home warm ,this day got me tired alot,specially the gray sky feelt very opressing , i went to the mall buy some food as a surprise to my sick dad so he recover faster, even though i thought the day will be bad i opened my pixiv and found 5 notifications of people who liked my art and it got me so happy \(◦'⌣'◦)/ , anyawys its nearly 4:00 am , as a good vampire i will stay awake maybe drawing or writing the book "flowers of evil" (go check it out in shams al maarif section in more content!!!)
•(2025/02/11) Today it was traight up a bad day , i wake up tired because i went to sleep at 3am , then i learned that my father started to get really really sick but didnt want to consult a doctor , and to top it all the people that tried to hack my accounts came back , so i had to spent more time securizing the accounts i forgot to securize and i got MY EMAIL suspended for suspicious activity, im feed up , if i loose the email i will loose everything. I contacted them and still waiting for a response
•(2025/02/10) I woke up early today to study, other than that the day was pretty boring, the poor lighting in my room make it even worse , i feel like blob , not having a purpose, all this projects help me a little bit mentally, but it is getting bad , really bad , the days are speeding , i feel like i am just a stone in the middle of a flowing river. I am still waiting for the good days , i am still waiting for the spring , everything is so grey , sad and dead in winter. (⌣́_⌣̀)
•(2025/02/09) Yesterday i sleept at 4am , the waking was hard but i tried to wake up early,i recieved a lot of mails today saying that people to try to hack my accounts , i already been hacked my old instagram account so i feared to loose everything again, i spent all the Morning changing passwords and setting up 2FA it was tiring , the worst is that my chair break in the middle of this while trying to adjust it and now i have to get myself a new one,when i finished securizing my accounts i wanted to work on my projects but i had no inspiration, i stayed 1 hour staring at the screen not knowing what to do while looping the king geedorah take me to your leader album. After a while i started to experiment with fractals and waves in krita then when i found a good result i posted it in pixiv, then i started to work on a game , i searched references to make the 3d models but when i started modeling the software didnt stop bugging , im too tired to continue so i better go to sleep.
•(2025/02/08) Today i woke up late like Always, lately i had a very low moral , i didnt even turn on my computer to work on this website or the art, i dont know if i will go to school next Week but i dont really feel to but i dont want to fail my exams , i start to really hate this winter, even this autumn this year is so weird. I think i really need to start to sleep early, saying this while it is 4:00 in the morning (-_-;)
•(2025/02/06) I went out my family to eat outside , I had to weak up early and it was very hard, last night i went to sleep very late. All this day i had bad feeling , like Something bad is about to happen soon, i had this feeling coming out very frequently lately. I really feel Something bad is about to happen. Also this Week like the one before i didnt went to school at all. I feel i start to have a very bad habit of missing school.
•(2025/02/06) I just finished coding this website today, i made a funny gif of a moon and a sun for the website i loved it.