•(2025/05/13) Today it was very tiring , school was feeling like torture , exam week is aproaching very fast, so i spend more and more time studying instead of using that time to be here working on my things , i finished studying very late and took a nap , and now i find myself at 3:00 of the morning on my pc working on my html website. I really should go sleep but why , only to stay hours staring at the ceiling while overthinking and stressing over false scenarios. But good thing , i finished yesterday the album ROVU , i announced it on twitter before going to school this morning , everything is ready but i need first to make a web page for it. The project it self isnt some mozart level but i am very proud of myself.
•(2025/05/09) I nearly started a fight with my childhood bully , it escalated so fast , insults and shouts fused , at one moment the bully approached me face to face and started taunting me , i nearly lost my controll and punched her in the face. but violence is never the solution. A more happy update i just finished playing to yakuza 0 and it was so goood!
•(2025/05/06) Today i didnt had classes , i spent the time at home, i started seriously working on music , on my album 「ロヴ」. I want through the album to express the different phases of love, im currently at 5 songs, i think ill need 7 more to finish it. Also ill have to start ot work on a dedicated page for music in the website and maybe update the socials page.
•(2025/05/02) Yakimura is a bottle thrown in the ocean , maybe one day someone will find it , maybe in a month , a year , 50 years , and they will look at it. this is my dream.
•(2025/05/01) Today i really had a reflexion on who i really am, its like if i had a different mask depending to whom i talk to , wheter its my teacher , family , classmates. i came to the conclusion that its through this online presence that i am the real me , i am yakimura , and u the one or two reading this are the only few that know the real me. my fears, my dreams , my problems , you know the real me.
•(2025/04/23) Since the train dream of the 04/19 i have a crippling fear of train stations and railways in general, i cant even go to the train station of my city without thinking that something will happen and i will end in the railways crushed.
•(2025/04/15) Tried to make a cake , failed miserably.
•(2025/04/10) When i came back home i had enough courage to make the thing i always feared , animation , i am making the game 001 walking , i finshided all the landscape and i only need to add the people and the player , but i stopped at the rig making , i felt the animation like a mountain that i could not climb, but today i started. i hope i finish it as soon as posible to post it. its midnight i stopped for now , i cannot afford stay awake all night anymore.
•(2025/04/05) This entry is about today and yesterday, the sun is coming back and with is school is back , it got me really stressed up lately , my eye spams are getting worse and worse because of the stress, and on top of it im getting nearly no sleep.
•(2025/04/02) Yesterday was my brithday! so Happy birthday to myself :-) , i know that i promised that i will be more regular but since the last entry i am obssesed with photography i take a hundred picture a day with my camera and spend all the time in Lightroom trying to make them look beautiful, and good news , i will probably go to italy in a couple of months to visit im so happy!!!!
•(2025/03/26) The spring is here! (a little bit late (-_-;)), i was searching in some drawers and i found a old camera the "Fujifilm A350" i dont know much about cameras but i like the render of it, i spent the last days just taking pictures of everything. I also made and posted the artwork n028 in pixiv hope you liked it. DAYS WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!!
•(2025/03/11) It did not got better, im feeling dull, i have that bad omen feeling coming back with some stress, i dont know why, i started to have spams in my eyelids. and the cherry on the cake im starting to have romantic heartache, like im not a big romance person but lately i had a lot of feelings building up (maybe hormones) and the romantic songs are not helping it. Plus the person that i liked for now 5 months got my hints and was happy to know that it was my type, it started talking through messages because we live far away, but even though i felt that there was interest the person wasnt very talkative and it torture me to have to start conversations and keep them alive. So i took the hard decision to stop texting and i think the person thinked that i was no more interested and stopped interacting with me. i just want to burry myself 10ft undear earth like a cicada and never come out again. Good news is i repaired my desktop chair =3
•(2025/02/27) It has been a long time i didnt updated here nor posted something, i was in a low lately. Hope it will get better.
•(2025/02/17) Today it was very cold in my room , i tried to do some drawings and finish coding the game "walking" but it was so cold , my hand didnt move the way as i wanted them to move , my fingers were hurting as i write this down . but i stil did a pixel art of USHI ONI in pixiv go check it out.
•(2025/02/14) First and foremost HAPPY VALENTINE DAY (a little bit late) , today it was valentine day, the sun came out and the clouds hidden themselves from the sky , but the cold was still there , i went out with some friends to eat out in a restaurant , it feel so good to go outside once in a while, it really changes from my room. i guess thats all what happened , and like each day at midnight i will start working on some art and make the pixiv dialy theme. by the way the way i writte this journal is that i take notes on my phone through the day and when everyone go to sleep i turn on my computer and start posting.
•(2025/02/13) Today i really stopped to think about the purpose of all this , i spent so much time learning website coding to build all this so i can start to share my art , feelings etc... , but now that i have built the website i feel like i lost a big part of my purpose , i spend entire hours going all over the website looking if it need a new page. But im grateful that i finsished it so i can focus more on my creations. its 8:30pm, i always start having creative ideas only when the sun is down , i will start by making some music , then when it will be midnight i will do the pixiv theme of the day. and if im too lazy to go sleep i will continue making props for the game "walking", PS: it is 2:00AM i finally finished the main props of the game , posted for the pixiv daily theme the Nerium Oleander (go check it out!!) and i finished the music Blue Windows available on ytb.
•(2025/02/12) I wake up early today because i finally went to class , the weather was terrible , it was cloudy and very cold id loved to stay at home warm ,this day got me tired alot,specially the gray sky feelt very opressing , i went to the mall buy some food as a surprise to my sick dad so he recover faster, even though i thought the day will be bad i opened my pixiv and found 5 notifications of people who liked my art and it got me so happy \(◦'⌣'◦)/ , anyawys its nearly 4:00 am , as a good vampire i will stay awake maybe drawing or writing the book "flowers of evil" (go check it out in shams al maarif section in more content!!!)
•(2025/02/11) Today it was traight up a bad day , i wake up tired because i went to sleep at 3am , then i learned that my father started to get really really sick but didnt want to consult a doctor , and to top it all the people that tried to hack my accounts came back , so i had to spent more time securizing the accounts i forgot to securize and i got MY EMAIL suspended for suspicious activity, im feed up , if i loose the email i will loose everything. I contacted them and still waiting for a response
•(2025/02/10) I woke up early today to study, other than that the day was pretty boring, the poor lighting in my room make it even worse , i feel like blob , not having a purpose, all this projects help me a little bit mentally, but it is getting bad , really bad , the days are speeding , i feel like i am just a stone in the middle of a flowing river. I am still waiting for the good days , i am still waiting for the spring , everything is so grey , sad and dead in winter. (⌣́_⌣̀)
•(2025/02/09) Yesterday i sleept at 4am , the waking was hard but i tried to wake up early,i recieved a lot of mails today saying that people to try to hack my accounts , i already been hacked my old instagram account so i feared to loose everything again, i spent all the Morning changing passwords and setting up 2FA it was tiring , the worst is that my chair break in the middle of this while trying to adjust it and now i have to get myself a new one,when i finished securizing my accounts i wanted to work on my projects but i had no inspiration, i stayed 1 hour staring at the screen not knowing what to do while looping the king geedorah take me to your leader album. After a while i started to experiment with fractals and waves in krita then when i found a good result i posted it in pixiv, then i started to work on a game , i searched references to make the 3d models but when i started modeling the software didnt stop bugging , im too tired to continue so i better go to sleep.
•(2025/02/08) Today i woke up late like Always, lately i had a very low moral , i didnt even turn on my computer to work on this website or the art, i dont know if i will go to school next Week but i dont really feel to but i dont want to fail my exams , i start to really hate this winter, even this autumn this year is so weird. I think i really need to start to sleep early, saying this while it is 4:00 in the morning (-_-;)
•(2025/02/06) I went out my family to eat outside , I had to weak up early and it was very hard, last night i went to sleep very late. All this day i had bad feeling , like Something bad is about to happen soon, i had this feeling coming out very frequently lately. I really feel Something bad is about to happen. Also this Week like the one before i didnt went to school at all. I feel i start to have a very bad habit of missing school.
•(2025/02/06) I just finished coding this website today, i made a funny gif of a moon and a sun for the website i loved it.